Understanding

Today, I slept in for a short while (9:30 AM, believe it or not!) and decided to pull out one of my favorite movies, Little Women. I love watching this movie! No matter what, I always cry; Jo's journey always grabs my heart in such a way, I can't help but be inspired, as a visual artist, writer, sister, daughter, (someday. . . a wife and mother,) and of course, I am always inspired as a human being. . .

Jo said, "I should have been a great many things."

That line always speaks to me, I suppose it's because I've imagined becoming a dancer (that was way back in third grade), an art teacher (12th grade), a youth minister (sophomore in college), an artist (senior year), an urban missionary (after college), and finally, an art therapist (graduate school). But those are just titles, to be a great many things, is to become real and genuine, camping out with others and celebrating life, which is what I aspire to be and do each day. . .

There is another great line, when Jo and the german professor go to the opera and he translates these words, "your heart understood mine." Maybe it's just me, but I'm always amazed when that moment unfolds (Not always romantically). I believe there are moments in time, when I and another (be it a relative, friend or even a stranger) come to an exact and blessed moment when our hearts communicate the greatest expression of love- words are not needed, judgement disappears and God makes his presence known.

Throughout my journey, I have experienced several of these moments; with my sister Trisha in Ohio and with Germain in California ; I continue to thank God for interwining their lives/hearts with my own.

Now, I will mention the romantic side of the statement, "your heart understood mine." To make a long story as short as possible, last year, I thought that my ex-boyfriend's heart understood mine. Watching this movie today made me realize something new. . .I recognized that my heart never really understood his and that we each needed to be closer to God's own heart.

I know this must sound crazy! I told myself I was not going to be vague, but I promise that this is as honest as I will ever be. . .God cannot make his presence known where hearts are not turned towards His own.

A few verses that I am meditating on:

Psalm 119: 36
Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.

Psalm 44:18
Our hearts had not turned back; our feet had not strayed from your path.

Proverbs 2
1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,
3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

"Lord, I turn my heart towards you; I want to understand and be yours."
-Kim