How are the mosaic tiles going to fit around my story? I have been thinking about this question and it reminded me of something I wrote in college. . . .
I'm about to quote something I wrote during my senior year of college; I was in a small group at that time and we searched to define what it would mean to be called to a culture of compassion. Our goal/ambition/hope was to cultivate this culture of compassion in our communities. I think in that moment, we were considering that culture to be our campus, but I'm realizing more and more, that this culture that we defined and explored is what continues to inspire me to cultivate a culture of compassion where I am right now...this moment. This has helped me to understand how the mosaic tiels are fitting around my story, illustrating His ultimate faithfulness and communicating a love that can only be found in Him and through His story.
"I always try to be strong. I always tell myself that if I'm not srong, I will ultimately fail al those who have helped me to come this far,. Oh, I have faith that GOd can do a work in my life, I trust him, but that's the problem. I only trust Him...and I find it difficult to trust. Part of not being able to trust come from simply not wanting to trust at all. I've found it to be easy to become independent. I've also learned how to ask for help,but I don't want to ask. I force myself to withdrawl, as to say, " I don't need anyone."
I have always thought that if I let myself get close to anyone, then I would ultimately get hurt, retreat, and hide. This is my first and only instinct. But jsut recently, I've discovered that this great gift-it's called wholeness. I've discovered no matter how fragmented I am, that God will gather all the pieces and put me together and make me into a beautiful stain glass window.WhenI expereince wholeness through His love, that's when I reflect His light and he shines radiantly through all of my brokeness. SOmetimes it becomes so easy to focus on that brokenness, that I can only see the pieces as insignificant fragments. In these moments, I reject the cross and i forget what Jesus did on Calvary.
He became so broken for me. The broken peices become the stain glass window, so that all may see. When I listen to His voice, I am able to come out of the darkness and it is through the cross that I begin to walk again upon the path with faith. Whne I listen, the light suddenly surrounds me and begins to shine through me. This is the hope that I must remember each day as I struggle to get out of bed, this is what I should remember as I begin to doubt GOd's plan for my life. Though I am fragmented, I am made whole, and through wholeness, I've discovered that my stain-glass not only reflects the beauty of Christ, but that through my wholeness, people will see that Jesus loves them. It is my hope that others can discover that they too, can come to know the Lord in tsuch a close intimate way, that they can know wholeness too. THAT IS MY PURPOSE AND DESIRE OF MY HEART."
I know this is a long post, I guess those whom read it's entire span and breath, will read this too....
Metaphorically speaking--we can be either stain-glass or mosaic tiles, but more than anything, these illustatration reminds me to pray daily, that His will be done. He is the Artist, fitting the pieces together, I am simply a witness and hopefully, through His amazing grace, I am revealing His story to all those who need to see Him in me. . . .
Ephesians 2:10, "For we are His handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works that God has prepared, that we should walk in them."
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