white flag

Let's just say, that the decision I thought I had already made, has been reopened like a can of worms. I cannot deny, I am frightened by the real world, which keeps reminding me that I'm in debt up to my ears and that any fragment of financial security can actually feel like winning the lottery; just for the simple fact that I've been edging myself towards independence and once again, I see myself facing this sort of deliberate reckoning, the sort of understanding that encourages me to reach out, just when I'm expected to pull away and stabilize my life.

Am I continuing the aching resistance to stay far away and reign with all the independence I can muster or am I ready to send up the white flag and confess that indeed, "I can't do this alone?"

I've tried, I really have.

I'm a dreamer, but even dreams begin to fade when life becomes about the mighty $. Oh, I dreaded this day, much like one of those plagues in Exodus. I really would prefer not to think about such things....

On that lovely note, I shall continue this tomorrow, perhaps, on a lighter note with a glimmer of laughter.





And so I